My mom smokes Virginia Slims. She drinks coffee in paper cups from subway vending machines. She counts money like a Blackjack dealer: the flick of her tongue against the tip of her finger, and hundred-dollar bills cascade in a blur. She was beautiful—before all the plastic surgery.
I’ve never thought of my identity as an extension of hers. When I look in the mirror, I see her eyes and heart-shaped mouth on my face. But I’ve always thought of them as my own. My mother is, objectively, not a very good person. She lies and hurts the people she claims to love. The fear is that we all become our parents eventually. Maybe I’m more like her than I realize. Maybe none of us is as good as we think we are.
Making Bibim Naengmyeon
Though she never taught me, my mother did pass along a few culinary skills. Measuring cups are still purely decorative in my house. I can, with slow and clunky precision, cut the skin off an Asian pear in one long spiral. I know to wash rice until the water runs clear, that the proper ratio of water to rice should sit at my wrist when I press my hand flat inside the pot. But that’s all I know. For guidance, I turned to the internet’s favorite Korean mom: Maangchi.
On hot summer days spent shopping and walking around Seoul, we’d stop to eat, and my mother would always order naengmyeon—a refreshing dish to cool down the body. Bibim Naengmyeon is the same chilled noodles, only served in a spicy sauce. The cold noodles help combat the spice, and the cucumber and pear provide a cooling crunch. I used Maangchi’s recipe as a guide and simplified it for the groceries I had on hand.
- 2 servings of buckwheat noodles
- 1/2 Asian pear cut into thin strips
- 1/2 cucumber cut into thin strips
- 1 hard boiled egg, shelled, cut into halves
- ¼ cup sesame seeds
- 1 garlic clove
- ½ tsp ginger
- ¼ cup hot pepper flakes
- 2 tbsp hot pepper paste
- 1 tbsp soy sauce
- 1 tsp salt
- 2 tsp sugar
- 2 tbsp rice vinegar
- 2 tsp sesame oil
- ice cubes or very cold water
- Blend garlic, ginger, hot pepper flakes, hot pepper paste, soy sauce, salt, sugar, rice vinegar and sesame oil into a spicy sauce.
- Boil noodles. Strain under cold water (add ice cubes if the water is not cold enough. Noodles should be very cold.)
- Top noodles with sauce.
- Garnish with sliced cucumber, asian pear, egg and sesame seeds.
This series explores my identity through Korean food. Subscribe to my newsletter, Eat This Book, to continue this series, as it is now a Substack exclusive. Previously: My Mother is a Con Artist. So I’m Cooking Korean Food.
I don’t think 1/4 cup Chili flakes is right tried this recipe & wanted to die
Bob: I know this is a million years late, but I’m so sorry about this! I tend to forget not everyone works with Korean ingredients regularly, so “hot pepper flakes” actually refers to Korean hot pepper flakes (called gochugaru). This recipe card plugin has expired so I can’t update it unfortunately, but this is likely the problem you ran into.